You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
