He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
