it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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