plz talk dirty to me
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
