oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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