he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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