ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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