I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
These tits shall not be calmed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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