I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
