I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
