Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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