It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
