before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
this is an emotional support booty call
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count