Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.