the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....