No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
