I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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