we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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