Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
