just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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