rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
