Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
