ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
