apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My dick has a subreddit
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
