I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
