he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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