I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
