wat bout pragnant strippers??
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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