I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dear god my vagina.
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