put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
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I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
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The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
how does that bad decision feel?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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