GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
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I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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