im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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