We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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