i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
