I'm drive I can fine osifer
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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