Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook