Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.