Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.