I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
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Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.