Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.