SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so