there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
