I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
