Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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