I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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