The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Enjoy the penises
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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