forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i already hear my dad disowning me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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