So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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