I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
