Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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