Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
