you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
