I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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