Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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