Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
