smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
