Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
