ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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