She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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