Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
