he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
