white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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